First Look: Destroyer – ‘Kaputt’
First Look: Destroyer – Kaputt: A Play in One Act
By David Greenwald
Act One
Dan Bejar and Chuck Klosterman, wearing a handpicked suit from the set of “Scarface” and a pair of torn jeans and Nike sneakers, respectively, stand in the corner of a seedy Ibiza club. “Suicide Demo for Kara Walker” blares from the speakers as sweaty 20-somethings share bodily fluids on the dance floor.
Klosterman, sweat dripping alongside his chunky black frames, holds his tape recorder to an imperious Bejar.
KLOSTERMAN:
As someone who’s always been compared to Bowie, it’s interesting to hear you finally ascend from Rubies‘ maximalist take on Hunky Dory into his disco period. Would you describe Kaputt as your Station to Station?
BEJAR:
I heard the record, it’s all right.
KLOSTERMAN:
Seriously, though. I don’t think anyone would’ve expected this kind of record from you. Cheeseball synthesizers, syncopated drumming, hot sax – some of the lyrics are almost sincere! It’s like Gerry Rafferty’s ghost convinced you to leave your people-hating-cave.
BEJAR:
I sent a message in a bottle to the press. It said, “Don’t be afraid or disgusted with yourselves.”
An underage-looking girl in a Pavement shirt brushes against Klosterman on her way to the bathroom.
KLOSTERMAN:
Hard not to be in here.
The DJ puts on “Deacon Blues.” The crowd takes a break.
KLOSTERMAN:
Hey, why don’t we get a drink? We can talk about “Diamond Dogs.” I have this theory that you realized the most contrarian thing you could possibly do after “Shooting Rockets” would be to make a ’70s cheese record and –
BEJAR:
The world does not like me grim.
Steely Dan enter the club and head directly to the duo.
DONALD FAGEN:
We’re going to talk about Aja.
WALTER BECKER:
That’s right. How are you, Dan?
BEJAR:
I was poor in love, I was poor in wealth, I was OK in everything else.
The quartet moves to the bar. Becker orders a dirty martini.
BECKER:
We heard the record and had to meet you. All those impenetrable lyrics married to that suave cool? We’ve been calling you Steely Dan Bejar.
FAGEN:
We could practically hear the coke dust flying off the snare hits. And those back-up soul singers? Hot.
KLOSTERMAN:
Wait a minute, are you saying this a Steely Dan record?!
FAGEN:
Chuck, for the record, fuck Downtown Owl. Fuck the Stones, too.
A sudden plume of smoke erupts on the dancefloor. Mick Jagger steps out of the haze and approaches the group, Ke$ha on his arm. The DJ plays “We R Who We R.”
JAGGER:
You cats have it all wrong.
He turns to Bejar.
JAGGER:
You remember what I told you about when we did Some Girls? Everybody saying we were out of touch. We had to play the kids’ music for the kids. So we cut “Beast of Burden.”
BEJAR:
I heard the record, it’s all right.
JAGGER:
You did it, man. You took my advice.
BEJAR:
I wrote a song for America, they told me it was clever.
KLOSTERMAN:
I think I’m getting it. Kaputt is the chillwave Some Girls. Holy shit. GQ’s going to love this.
He slumps against the wall. Jagger spills a drink on his tape recorder.
JAGGER:
Get offa my cloud, man.
KE$HA:
LOL!
Jagger and Ke$ha head to the dance floor. Fagen and Becker shake Bejar’s hand.
BECKER:
Be well, young Hercules.
FAGEN:
I’ll bring over that French press next week. It’s going to change your life.
BEJAR:
It’s not a war ‘til someone loses an eye.
Steely Dan exit stage left. Klosterman reaches upward.
KLOSTERMAN:
It can’t end like this!
Bejar transforms into a raven in an explosion of smoke. He flaps above the crowd and out the skylight into the clear Spanish sky.
End scene.
Destroyer – “Chinatown”: mp3
(Kaputt is out on Merge on Jan. 25; acknowledgements to David Goldstein for the coke joke and Christopher Alexander for the concept.)
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