11.14.2007 | 11:15 am

The Sporting Life: An Appeal To The Football Gods

Dear Football Gods,

You guys really are a merciless crew. A week after the Minnesota Vikings fined one of their players for attending his grandmother’s funeral you have them lose 34-0 to Brett Favre and the Pack and hurt Adrian Peterson, even after they handed the check back! I just watched my miserable Niners lose 24-0 to the Seahawks on Monday Night Football a day after coach Mike Nolan’s father passed away… how heartless of you. And most importantly, you handed me one of my worst days ever in fantasy football (I lost to Dave… Dave!) (Ed. note: Suck it, Carman) and how you guys screwed me over, I’m not even going to begin the listing the ways.

So all I’m asking you of is this: please send Hawaii to a BCS bowl. [Continue reading...]

Make everything go right for the Warriors so they can run the table and end up in the Fiesta Bowl. I’ll forfeit any more 49ers wins down the road (just for this season) just for this opportunity to occur. Let Colt Brennan show his stuff on national TV.

Think about it. The Hawaii Warriors put up some of the most obscene numbers on offense in all of the NCAA out of June Jones’ run & shoot offense: 1st in scoring (50.2), 2nd in passing yards (454), 3rd in first downs (27.3), and Colt Brennan himself just tied Ty Detmer’s NCAA record for most career TD passes (121). Yeah, they play in a rather weak conference, the WAC, but it’s not like the rest of the NCAA teams are exactly the powerhouses they normally are. Who doesn’t want to watch a football team like this? I like a good defensive football game as much as the next guy, but sometimes I like watching a game that feels like a game of Tecmo Super Bowl where I hook up John Taylor with bombs from Joe Montana for 600 yards per game.

I was born to parents who didn’t attend college, so I have no affinity to any particular college football team, not even my own alma mater. Just this season I was a proud member of the South Florida bandwagon and I still sport my Boise St. Broncos t-shirt from time to time. Everyone likes a good underdog story.

Hawaii gets no respect from college football purists who believe that they wouldn’t stand a chance against the likes of an SEC or Big-10 team. I say it’s time for a new era of college as we’ve seen the likes of Rutgers, Boise St., South Florida, and Fresno St. step up and become competitive, respectable programs. After all, we saw what happened when two so-called “BCS busters” made it to the Fiesta Bowl haven’t we? Urban Meyer led my boy Alex Smith and the Utah Utes to a dominating win over the Pittsburgh Panthers using the spread offense in the 2005 Fiesta Bowl, and the Boise St. Broncos pulled off one of the greatest upsets in NCAA history when the Broncos literally tricked the Oklahoma Sooners into an overtime victory in last years matchup.

What’s there not to like about Hawaii anyway? Their dark-green and black uniforms give Oregon a run for their money for who has the ugliest uniforms in the NCAA. In fact, they kinda remind me of the Death Star troopers in Star Wars. Colt Brennan at one point had the Hawaiian Islands dyed into his hair. Their coach wears leis on the sideline. They used to be called the Rainbow Warriors. It’s like watching the football version of the Mighty Ducks on ESPN2. And besides, Hawaii is definitely a top-5 state as far as I’m concerned.

So here’s what I propose: Have Hawaii and Kansas play in the Fiesta Bowl in a game that pits two teams that get no respect. Both have run the table so far, but both are looked down on as pretenders by the college football world. Not only that, but you’ll put together the two highest scoring teams in the NCAA (50.2, 45.9, respectively) in what is bound to be a shootout that’ll make the Fiesta Bowl live up to its name.

So football gods, please. Let this happen. Do it for me. It’s been a long time since you guys have made me happy.

Sincerely,
Carman

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  • Greg aka gkla

    What’s your justification for thinking that the successes of Rutgers, Boise St., South Florida, Fresno St., and Hawaii ushers in a new era? Are their victories really attributable to vastly improved coaching methods, or merely to comically low GPA standards with absurdly high scholarship benefits?

    Maybe neither of those is true and they just rise to the top of crumby conferences and beat marquee teams that really aren’t that good to begin with. After all, you’ll be the first to admit that even the “best” college teams are so, so sloppy.

  • Carman

    I would say that it mainly comes naturally over time as a result of gradual success of some of these less well-known schools. As some schools just gradually get better through time they gather attention, especially from a successful season that includes upsets over ranked school (i.e. Rutgers last year, and South Florida this season). These wins may sometimes be flukes or just incredibly close (Rutgers’ upset of Louisville came down to a second-try field goal and USF beat Auburn in OT), but they’re enough to propel a program that otherwise would get no attention into the limelight. That team may not even be that good, as USF is no longer ranked and Rutgers is pulling a mediocre season with the same squad, but it draws attention to them. With this attention, you can attract top recruits who otherwise would not have shown interest in that program before. Rutgers pulled in 5-star OT Anthony Davis this year who was made offers from the likes of of USC and Ohio st., but decided to stick to his hometown school.

    As for the coaching, I wouldn’t say so much that it’s the coaching methods but just the sheer numbers of quality coaches that exist in the NCAA now. Some are NFL rejects and castoffs, such as June Jones at Hawaii, Charlie Weiss at ND, and Dennis Erickson at ASU (who recently was able to get a verbal commitment from Elway Jr.) or some are just ones that get their start as a head coach from smaller programs such as Urban Meyer at Utah like I mentioned above. Meyer was and still is the coach of the defending champion Florida Gators.

    As far as the low academic standards of the NCAA, that may be sadly true as well.